Wie komme ich mit meinen Macken zurecht?

Wir alle haben Macken, sind empfindlich, reagieren emotional. Besonders eindrucksvoll kann man das im Straßenverkehr beobachten. Was wird da geschimpft, gestikuliert und beleidigt wegen vermeintlicher Kleinigkeiten!

Um die Macken von uns selbst und unseren Mitmenschen besser zu verstehen und mit ihnen umzugehen, hilft es, über ihren Ursprung nachzudenken.

Grundsätzlich kann man davon ausgehen, dass Menschen emotional reagieren, wenn es für sie um ein wichtiges Thema geht. Welches das ist, ist oft nicht auf den ersten Blick zu erkennen.

Wenn Sie zum Beispiel wiederholt und schmerzlich ungerecht behandelt wurden und auf Ihre Gefühle keine Rücksicht genommen wurde, entsteht in Ihnen ein wunder Punkt in Bezug auf dieses Thema. Das ist aus Ihrer Sicht völlig logisch und verständlich.
Man könnte diesen wunden Punkt mit einer inneren unverheilten Wunde vergleichen.

Wenn Ihnen dann jemand auf dreiste Art und Weise den Parkplatz vor der Nase wegschnappt, bricht sozusagen diese Wunde wieder auf. Dann reagieren Sie äußerst emotional und vielleicht der Situation nicht angemessen.
Was Ihren inneren Schmerz angeht, reagieren Sie absolut verständlich, das wird Ihre Außenwelt aber nicht begreifen.

Damit will ich keineswegs behaupten, dass Sie Ihren Gefühlen freien Lauf lassen und womöglich sogar gewalttätig werden sollten! Sie tragen die Verantwortung für Ihre Reaktionen.

Genau deshalb ist es so wichtig, zu verstehen, wo die Wut herkommt. Wenn Sie wissen, dass die Prügel, Benachteiligung und Ausgrenzung in Ihrer Vergangenheit diese verständliche Wut hervorgerufen haben, wird Ihnen klar, dass der dreiste Autofahrer nicht die Ursache dieser Wut ist. Er hat Sie nur daran erinnert, dass Sie viel Ungerechtigkeit erlebt haben.
Wenn Sie das erkennen, ist schon ein großer Schritt getan.

In unseren Beziehungen haben wir sehr oft mit solchen alten unverheilten Wunden zu tun, denn jeder Mensch hat welche.

Wenn ich zum Beispiel die Wunde hätte, mich nicht geliebt zu fühlen, könnte ich mit Rückzug reagieren, wenn diese alte Wunde schmerzt.
Wenn mein Partner zum Beispiel die alte Wunde hätte, sich allein gelassen zu fühlen, könnte mein Rückzug wiederum seinen alten Schmerz zum Vorschein bringen. In diesem Fall entsteht schnell eine Kette von Missverständnissen – ein Teufelskreis, der Beziehungen in kürzester Zeit zerstören kann, auch wenn sich beide eigentlich sehr lieben.

Wenn wir die verständlichen Gründe unseres Schmerzes erkennen und unserem Gegenüber erklären, kann dieser Teufelskreis durchbrochen werden.
Dann kann wahre Nähe und Verbindung entstehen.

179 Antworten

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